Surprised by Selfishness

This has been the worst week ever because....
I need money
I miss my boyfriend
I don't like my job
I am arguing with my boss
I have to move..
I need...
I want...
I can't stand it when..
I never get to.......
I........


That was the beginning of many many conversations people had with Andy this week, one of the most difficult weeks of ministry for him in the past 10 years.
I was angry and frustrated with the selfishness of others until I took a minute to examine my own ugly heart.


I care deeply about my friends and family; I usually try to look for the best in people, and in the past few years God has done a lot in my heart in the area of loving my enemies and doing good to those who hate me. (this has been a rough lesson for me, by the way)

Here's something I don't do.

Philippians 2:3
Don’t be selfish; don’t live to make a good impression on others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourself.
NLT translation

Instead of being motivated by selfish ambition or vanity, each of you should, in humility, be moved to treat one another as more important than yourself.
NET translation

Think of others as better than yourself??
Treat one another as more important than yourself!?!

Earlier this week, Andy was having horrible stomach pains. While I was taking care of him I kept thinking..
"I really can't get this, I have way too much to do this week"
"I wonder if he touched anything else I need to disinfect"
and "ugh, it takes me so long to get over being sick, if I get this ..."

I have been surprised and mortified by my own selfishness this week, and this is just one example. Since I am worried about making a good impression (contrary to the above scripture verse) I will spare you more examples.

I'm left with two questions...

What does it look like to live a life where you consider others better than yourself?
Is it possible to accomplish this without others constantly taking advantage of you?

Puff

Puff is the name of my fabulous, fluffy, stained, light blue, tattered and torn American Eagle coat. Yes, you read correctly, I have a name for my coat. It almost has a personality of its own. If I can't easily locate the ratty garment you may hear me yell, "Wait, where's Puff?" or "Babe, have you seen Puff around anywhere?" If the temperature dips below 50, and in Northwestern PA it usually does, you can almost guarantee that you will not see me without my trusted companion, Puff.
I purchased Puff over 6 years ago, and she is surely showing her age. Sections of stitching are unraveling, the dingy fabric is faded and stained, and multiple holes sport flying down feathers, wrangling their way to the outside world.
Because Puff has a difficult fabric for patching and sewing, I chose to repair one of the larger holes with tape. Since then, countless well-wishers have approached me and removed the tape as a "favor." And if I had a nickle for each person who said, "Do you know you have tape on your coat?" I would easily be able to purchase three more Puffs.
What can we learn from Puff? One lesson is that things and people have value far beyond how they look or how much they would sell for on E-bay. This beloved coat is far too ratty to be sold and would even be pitched out by goodwill stores. Another lesson... people don't always want your help. Each time the tape is ripped off the wound of my precious Puff, the cut becomes larger and larger. Sometimes in life what we think is "helping" is actually quite hurtful.
Because of what Puff has taught me, I am going to try to look less at appearances, and I'm going to attempt to think a little more before I speak up too quickly and try to "fix " something.
One more thing, if you see me with Puff, please don't open the wound, just walk away from the tape....