I don't enjoy airplanes in general. The air is funky, the space is claustrophobia inducing, and the noise either droning or deafening. However, these are not any of the reasons my plane ride to Alaska was remarkably ridiculous.
1. I had to sit in the middle of the plane, between two strangers.. not a big deal to most.. but if you know me... you know that would freak me out. Also, if I were to describe the odor of the gentleman in front of me as pleasant..it would be the biggest lie of my life.
2. The woman squashed on my left was a narcoleptic Jehovah's Witness. No, I'm not making this up.... She opened conversation with a watchtower. It turns out she was on disability for narcolepsy, and using all her time and government cheese to travel to Jehovah Witness conference after conference.
Here's the kicker, her narcolepsy did not prevent her from driving, just from working. Yep!
3. The woman squashed on my left was slowly taking small chunks of her turkey sandwich and shoving them one at a time into her carry-on bag that was stuffed between the seats in front of her. Each subsequent stuffing was followed by a nervous and awkward laugh. Again, I am not making this up.
It wasn't until hours later at the very end of the flight I found out she had a half-drugged dog inside her carry-on....
